THE ADULTERY I DIDN’T COMMIT

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Biafra
Chief Anayo Nwosu

 

By Anayo M. Nwosu

It happened in December 2001, one month after my church wedding. It was very messy as it was embarrassing. An adultery? Never! Not me!

I couldn’t fathom how it happened but I needed to cure myself first of the obvious venereal disease before I continued with self examination on how it happened.

I woke up that fateful morning to find out that the cap of my staff of office, the real Mr. Nwosu and my certificate of membership of male folk was lacerated as if it was dipped into a boiling oil. It happened overnight. I was scared. I went back to bed and woke up to see that I was not dreaming. I walked about with my left hand in my pocket to wedge the dangling which was very painful.

“How do I face my wife?” I feared.

I was a victim of the masters bedroom creation. We shared a room. I couldn’t hide so much from her. So, she would soon find out either when I was called to duty or while dressing up after bathing. It’s even worse as ours was a young marriage with its attendant intimacy. I must do something urgently.

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I staged a quarrel with my wife to get a breather and to enable me sort myself out and to limit the collateral damage. It was too early for me to be accused of infidelity. I was also in pains, the kind of pain that I dared not moan loudly to its pangs otherwise the cat would be let out of the bag.

The new doctor I met on duty at our family hospital in Ikeja did not help matters. He concluded that I had contracted a venereal disease and was quick to prescribe some drugs upon physical examination. The drugs were out of stock and I was required to buy the drugs from a pharmacy. I chose the a drug store near my house in Ọgba Ikeja.

I was lucky to have met an elderly pharmacist at Ogba, Lagos. He noticed my troubled look as he took my prescription. He asked if I minded his seeing the lesion on my manhood. I agreed and he took me to his inner room.

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The pharmacist shocked me.

He said that I was reacting to a drug I took. He recalled that I was in his pharmacy three days earlier to buy Fansidar, an anti-malaria drug. I nodded in affirmative and he concluded that I reacted to the malarial drug.

I felt what a pastor would feel at his first miracle. My joy knew no bounds.

The saviour pharmacist warned that I should avoid drugs in the pyrimethamine-sulfadoxine family. I was also told to run away from Sulphur containing drugs like Septrin and Flagyl.

Having been exonerated by the pharmacist, I rushed home to give my testimony to my wife who could not understand my newly developed queer behaviour. She was even thinking whether I had started showing my real character few weeks after our wedding.

Though a human, I never expected to fall for adultery that early. It wouldn’t have sounded nice to have been accused of committing adultery one month after my wedding.

How could I have proven my innocence when the evidence was so glaring?

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Please find out the drugs you react to. People die of adverse drug reactions. The man in me nearly died because I wanted to cure malaria.

@2018
Culled from collection of articles written by Anayo Nwosu (Ikenga Ezenwegbu)


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